long hair and dirty beard

smeared with the trappings of cosmopolitan glamour

did the train bring you here

or did the refrain of life bring you down

till all that remains is a silk tie

from bye-gone white collar daze

sneakers and a rain slicker

starbucks and pain

i am a jester in the kourts of the King

wild and free and being

freak on marble stone

but that this would remind me

i once was blind but now i see

dancing where ladies and lords would be

it's a mystery that moves my feet

where my enemies want to sit

He is my salvation

my lime light, shine down green

on this silly scene

where the song is joy and the rhythm - freedom

i am a jester in the kourts of the King

dancing where lords and ladies would be

but the joke is the yolk is broken for me

so now my thousand tongues will sing

calling, calling achsen-free

it's a happy step i'll tap in off beat

freak and frak in double time

because the Groom's eyes are open wide

in the stride of a bride gone crazy over Thee

and so the jester leaps

i want to know Christ

and fly in this hour

from the grave in this power

i want to know Christ

and dance with His pain

to kiss Him in His death

(drink His blood, eat His body

not wafer, not wine

the real deal shall be my meal

i am His. He is mine.)

and then i will breathe

that new breath

then i will live

that new life

i am healed

i am whole

restored, reinstated, resuscitated

forgiven, foreclosed, forever on that slumlord's chapter 11 shack

i have a destiny

this is not my status quo

there is much more to life than what i know

i am clean. i am free.

i am alive. i can see.

the desires that were given to me shall be, at His feet, fulfilled

i trust, i must, in the Most High God

i give my heart to live as His, and this alone

this is my dying day to ways that groaned in futile angst

this is my rising to the Rock that is higher than i

taking His hand, i stand and will not fall

all in His, and will not compromise this call

to run and not be weary

(not by might)

to walk and not be weak

(not by power)

to fly and never die

(by His Ghost, shall i)

in he midnight hour

she came to me

while i dreamed hopeful dreams

that i wished were so real

she woke me, and kissed me

and made me so cold with her touch

come then, dear butterfly

and keep me warm til the dawn

let not the silent stone overwhelm

ere hope breathe her last good-bye

where were you

when the bed was made

on the night of nuptial dance?

where were you

when the lights went out

and darkness reached out her hands?

vanity seems so far away

i bid her farewell, and gladly so

for the hero is what i want to be

someone to save, someone to want me so

and sweep off her beautiful feet

but i dreamed so long for that providential hope

that i strain to remember

in the frost of september's stony stare

where heroes waited for the chance to arise

but all they saw was the dust of tomorrow's sacred lies

come then, dear butterfly

and keep me warm til the dawn

let not the silent stone overwhelm

ere hope breath her last good-bye

blue suits on grey streets

two lovers meet in bistro beat

by the alley where walls dance

a waltz of lullabies for tomorrow

and the moon sails by

and the cars go by

and the stars ask why

and lights go out one by one

and the starling sings

but nobody knows

green trees and happy feets

where dance and winds romance

to lullabies and hobos

to dreams and echoes on the sea

to sunsets wild and free

to fires and smoke that's meant to be

to starlings and stallions and starlight stirrings

but the Whirlwind knows

i want to look like You

so open up my skin

so i can let You in

wrap You up inside

then i can go outside

with a heart open wide

touch the broken soul, make them whole

speaks life to dying bones

and hearts come back from stone

bring heaven down to earth

just like You do

i want to look like You

take me to the place

of the Infinite Majestic

where i know holiness

as You are holy

there i am purified

in the knowing

there i am justified

and You show me

what it means to be real

Sons of God

notes: i wrote the first draft of this poem at the end of a very brief saga. In October of 2002, a young woman in a church i used to attend was in a car accident and suffered 3rd degree burns over 60% of her body. My faith at the time was incredibly high, after being healed to run again, after realizing i had grown 1.5 inches, and after being healed to walk without my critch. So i prayed with that cocky faith for this woman to be dramatically healed. i never met her. i never knew who she was, but that didn't matter - i determined that she would be miraculously healed. About 3 months later, after an agonizing period for her and her family, she died. i was crushed, and didn't understand why we don't conquer over such attacks from the enemy. She had a full destiny ahead of her - how could the enemy rob us so?

The only sense i could make of such craziness was this poem. We must choose to rise and be revealed, every time.

how beautiful are the feet of those who

hope in the Lord will walk then run then fly...

second star to the right then straight on till dawn...

in the fray of living and breathing and being

i swung my sword in battles for love and freedom and glory

and i conceived of victory, and would not concede

but the fires of hell burned fierce

and choked and railed my flesh

stole the life out of my breath

now death is here to reap and sow

now what sense can grow from shadow

and why? for destiny is scratching at my window

rise heart, thy Lord is risen

sing His praise without delays

steady your hope in God, and do not fail

now no! those gates shall not pravail

the shield will rise again

and we will continue to walk the run then fly

for the sons of God shall be revealed!

into and beyond, let the sons of God be revealed

the stars look down and wonder

why they wait in silent thunder

the matrix has been shattered

the lies have scattered

in the sudden light of Truth

the forces now advance by worship

now war ships surround and hound that devil's island

now grown small to see in the rising tide

and we lay siege to what must die

with no compromise

"greater things than these"

soon the destinies shall consummate

in power, this hour, shake the heavens

for the sons of God are now revealed

we sail these warships by the power of worship

the fuel is the fire of the Spirit of God

the fuel is the love of God

when do we float here

permeated by the ocean?

where do we go here, lazy and free

not caring to fit in

You kissed me and permeated my being

with the essence of Your flood

now i am drifting here

not caring to fit in

such is the wonder that carries us along

in currents of mindless meditation

such is the boneless, fleshless wonder

by tides of being-less being

so let the flood begin again

let the blood be blue and beloved

it's a covet i care to cover

with umbrella under the the ultra-violet sun

buoyant, carried, mindless and free